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- The Confident Man

The Confident Man

There's nothing more alluring to a woman than a confident man. A man who knows what he wants, is a man who will quickly learn what I want - and that's sexy as hell.

Self-confidence isn't just about having the courage to take risks and do things you might not usually do, it's also about loving yourself and not being afraid to show it. Seeking pleasure and going after the things you want doesn't make you selfish or arrogant. It simply shows people that you have focus and desire, and who wouldn't want to be around someone like that?

What is confidence?

The biggest mistake guys make when it comes to self-confidence, is thinking it's an outward, visible thing - the big car, the flashy suit, the expensive vacation destinations. But that isn't confidence, that's arrogance, and women can spot that from a mile away. Real confidence comes from within. It's silent, imperceptible to the naked eye, and it certainly has no price tag, yet it's the most powerful aphrodisiac for a woman.

Even if your confidence issues are not related to sex or dating, the most important thing to know when trying to evaluate and improve your self-image, is that confidence comes from honesty, open-mindedness and a willingness to accept who you are - including your imperfections. If you really know "who" you are, then others will want to know who you are too.

Why women love confident men:

It's the holy grail of dating, knowing what women want. But we're not complicated creatures. Believe it or not, we're just very good at seeing through the B.S, which is why confident men really turn us on. That's because-

Confident men are:

* Honest
* Vulnerable
* In control of their own destiny
* Considerate of others feelings as well as their own
* Happy to vocalize their desires
* Comfortable in their own skin
* Able to say "no" when the situation requires it
* Respectful of another person's space, choices and individuality
* Able to set boundaries and stick to them
* Accepting of their imperfections
* Keen to push themselves further

Confident men are not:

* Needy
* Demanding
* Defensive
* Controlling
* Disrespectful
* Insincere
* Selfish with their time, or yours
* Afraid to say what they feel/want
* Loud and brash (men who are like this are actually lacking in confidence)
* Intolerant of people who are different from them

So basically, women love confident guys because they're not looking for another child, or an overbearing boss, or a friend who dominates their time, space and relationships. They're looking for an equal, someone they can relate to, who isn't afraid to admit his own hopes and fears, is comfortable with his own vulnerability and, most importantly, someone who is honest about who he is and how he feels. So how do you go about becoming this magical guy?

Three simple ways to boost your self- confidence:

Confidence isn't about having the buff body or the million-dollar salary. Learn to unleash that inner "lady killer" by just letting your guard down and showing her who you really are.

1. Befriend your body.

You might not look like George Clooney, but then not every girl likes George Clooney. Even if you're a tad overweight or your hair is beginning to thin, it's important to learn to accept who you are now in order to become the man you want to be, later. Lumps, bumps or love handles, whatever part of your physical appearance is sapping your confidence, you've got to befriend your body before you can change it. But even guys who seem to have the perfect physique, can be insecure on the inside. Acceptance of your flaws, whether real or imagined, is vital if you're going to start feeling better about yourself.

2. Fall in love with yourself.

You can't expect her to fall in love with you, if you're not in love with yourself. Start by taking time out to really get to know who you are. What hobbies do you like? What excites you? What ambitions do you have? What do you want? If you lack physical confidence, get a makeover or go shopping for a new wardrobe as small changes can really help to boost your confidence. Pay attention to your health by exercising a little more and changing your diet. Treat yourself the same way you would treat a person you're in love with, and you'll feel warm and wonderful all day long.

3. Take control.

You've been waiting to approach that hot girl at your local bar, or remind your boss that he promised you a raise. So just do it. Seriously, what's the worst that will happen? Will the world explode? No, of course it won't. What will happen is that you'll feel instantly empowered for having had the balls to speak up in the first place. Even if the girl doesn't respond the way you'd hoped, she'll secretly admire your courage for asking. And if your boss says no to the raise, he'll respect that you stood up for yourself. There's nothing to lose, yet everything to gain and it will build your confidence.

~ Sienna Sinclaire - Naughty Lifestyle Expert - Los Angeles Sex & Dating Coach

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