5 Ways To Get Over A Breakup
We've all been through it, breaking up with the person you thought you'd be with forever. You retreat into yourself, analyzing every little nuance and event of your time together to see if there's anything you could have done to stop the rot. You start to doubt yourself and, worse, doubt your own judgment, and you convince yourself that you'll never get over it and that life may as well be over as you'll never be happy again. Sound familiar? Then it's time to lift your head out from under the pillow and realize that it's OK to feel sorry for yourself and it's OK to grieve for your loss. What's not OK, is thinking you'll never recover. Here are five surefire ways to help you get over a breakup.
1. Eat & drink yourself happy!
Our brains are responsible for our moods and how we feel. Everything we experience, remember, like, dislike and love, is determined by mood chemicals like endorphins, seratonin and dopamine. Dwelling on a breakup, or anything else negative, can actually sap your brain of these chemicals, so to kick-start the positivity, start eating dark chocolate and drinking an infusion of St John's Wort. Both of these contain natural brain boosters and balancers, keeping you 'up' instead of 'down.'
2. Get out and about!
To avoid dwelling on your depression, you need distracting. Going out with friends and getting things off your chest will help you vocalize your misery instead of holding it inside – which most guys tend to do. You don't have to be nasty about your ex, you just have to be able to talk to trusted friends. A problem shared really is a problem halved. Remember, girlfriends come and go but friends are there for life, so use them. Try to avoid drinking to excess, though, as alcohol is a natural depressant and once the high has worn off, your mood will plunge and make you feel even worse than you did before.
3. Avoid rebounds
The absolute worst thing you can do after a breakup is hook up with somebody new. Yes, you're lonely, yes, you're depressed and yes, you need reassurance that you're not a douche but, seriously, is your head or heart really ready to dive back into that emotional minefield when you're still licking your wounds? It's not fair on either you or the next girl, and all a rebound is going to do is just that – come back and bite you in the ass.
This should be a no-brainer as guys are preprogramed to self-love, right? But, from a scientific point of view, orgasms release huge quantities of those great brain chemicals we talked about, so getting yourself off on a regular basis is a great way of literally anesthetizing the pain of your break-up.
5. Remove your ex completely (at least for now)
You probably still have photos of your ex on your phone, or around the house, together with those cute little notes she used to leave for you on the fridge or in your pocket. You may even still have her perfume in the bathroom as you're too miserable to throw it away. But every reminder you have is only going to stab you in the heart every time you see, hear, smell or touch it. You should also remove her number from your phone, and definitely erase her (and her friends) from all your social media accounts.
Even if you parted on good terms, it's too soon to be friends, so even if that's a possibility further down the line, you need to remove her entirely from your life at least for now so you have time to heal without distraction. You don't have to throw everything away, just in case you two get back together. But for the time being put everything in a box, then after a year or more throw it away if you two aren't back together to help you move on.
For more information and advice on how to get over a breakup, check out my Dating Coaching Program today.